SpudsToGo Welcomes Dr. Van Illa’s Clinic — Finally, A Cure for Vanilla Deficiency
- WireNews
- Jul 21
- 2 min read
In what medical professionals are calling “not medically recognised whatsoever,” SpudsToGo is proud to announce the rollout of Dr. Van Illa’s Clinic inside select jacket potato shops across the UK.
Long suspected but never diagnosed, Vanilla Deficiency Syndrome (VDS) is now being taken seriously thanks to a breakthrough collaboration between baked potato engineers and dessert-based dreamers. Patrons suffering from symptoms such as joylessness, post-potato gloom, or “just needing something sweet” will now find relief at Dr. Van Illa’s, a retro-inspired dessert dispensary disguised as a medical-grade supplement clinic.
“This all started when I discovered I was born with a rare genetic condition,” explains Dr. Van Illa’s mysterious founder. “My body simply cannot produce its own vanilla soft-serve. Once I accepted this, I knew I had to help others like me.” The result? A nostalgic, white-coated experience that treats dessert with the solemnity of a medical prescription — minus the waiting room.
Inside each participating SpudsToGo, patients are greeted by white-lab-coated Clinicians who issue personalised “prescriptions” based on your condition (e.g., sudden onset blandness, emotional potato overload, etc.). Orders are filled by certified Dispensing Vanillists, supervised by roving Dose Control Officers. And yes, all cones are refillable — because recovery is a journey.
“Jacket potatoes and vanilla soft-serve share something sacred,” said Bill White, CEO of SpudsToGo. “They both make people feel better and contain no known side effects — except laughter and occasional brain freeze,” continued White with a wry smile.
The rollout will continue through the year with more SpudsToGo locations gaining fully functioning dessert dispensaries. No appointments necessary. Patients may self-refer.
Find us on Facebook, Twitter/X, Instagram, Threads and LinkedIn @drvanillas. For more information go to https://drvanillas.com.
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